The brain cells called neurons use electricity to communicate with one another. The combination of billions of neurons sending signals at once produces an enormous amount of electrical activity in the brain. This can be detected using sensitive medical equipment such as Electroencephalograph (EEG). The combination of electrical activity of the brain is commonly referred to as Brain Waves. The intensity of brainwaves emitted can be explained through the following states:
Alpha state: During Alpha state of mind, the wave emission rate is 7-14 cps. Alpha state is said to be the relaxed state of mind. This is the state conducive for effective learning and memorizing.
Beta state: During Beta state of mind, the brain waves are emitted at the rate of above 14 cps (14 cycles per second). If the rate reaches 30-60 cps, the person is said to be stressed.
Theta state: During Theta state of mind, the rate of brain wave emission is 4-7 cps. Theta state is called drowsy state of mind, about to sleep or disturbed sleep.
Delta state: During Delta state of mind, our brain sends off its waves at a rate below 4 cps. Delta state is called the state of deep sleep.
Laws of Learning
There are some laws of learning. Important amongst them are (a) Law of Readiness, (b) Law of Use and Disuse, and (c) Law of Reinforcement.
- Law of Readiness says, “To learn something, one has to be ready to learn it.”
- Law of Use and Disuse says, “If you use it, you will remember it; if you disuse it, you will forget it.” A sub-law here is the Law of Exercise. It says, “The more you use it, the more it gets strengthened.”
- Law of Reinforcement says, “If you learn it now and reinforce it after a gap, the learning is strengthened.”
If you understand and strictly observe these three laws while learning anything, your memory will improve tremendously. Regular practice will give you a better memory power.
Intelligence
Intelligence is a multifactor ability. The most common factors are related to language, logic, art, music, bodily, interpersonal and intrapersonal relations. So we can briefly say that we have seven basic factors of intelligence such as:
(a) Linguistic factor, (b) Logical factor, (c) Artistic factor, (d) Musical factor, (e) Bodily factor,
(f) Interpersonal factor, and (g) Intrapersonal factor.
The left brain deals with the first two types, that is, linguistic and logical factors. And the right brain deals with the rest five types in addition to creativity, imagination, intuition, visualization, etc.
Activating Right and Left Brain
Do you know all our activities with our right hands, right legs, and right side of the body have to do with our left brain? In fact, our activities with the right side of the body are related with left brain. Likewise our activities with the left side are related with our right brain. You want to activate your right brain? The simplest method is to rub your big left toe with your left fingers. There are so many other methods. The following exercises are meant for activating the left as well as right brain.
WARMING UP
Remove your shoes and socks. Sit comfortably. Put your naked soles on the ground. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath through your nostrils. Hold your breath for five counts. Breathe out slowly. Silently say ‘Relax, Relax, Relax.’ Do this ten times. At the end of this exercise, you are in the Alpha state of mind. You are quite relaxed and ready to learn anything. After the Warming Up exercise, you can take up the following exercises.
Exercise #1
To stimulate your right brain, close your right nostril with your left index finger. Breathe in and breathe out through your left nostril. To activate your left brain, close your left nostril with your right index finger. Breathe in and breathe out through your right nostril.
Do this exercise for 25 times.
Exercise #2
You can stimulate your right brain by rubbing your left big toe with your left fingers. Rub your right big toe with your right fingers to stimulate your left brain. Continue rubbing for one minute.
Or, Sit cross-legged. Now cross your arms. Rub your right big toe with your right fingers. Simultaneously rub your left big toe with your left fingers. Continue rubbing for one minute.
Exercise #3
Hold your nose with your left hand. At the same time, hold your left ear with your right hand. Change the positions of your hands so that your right hand holds your nose and your left hand holds your right ear. But before every change, your palms should slap your thighs.
First do this exercise with full concentration to avoid mistakes.
When mistakes are not made, start counting the number. Do it 25 times. Increase the number to 50, and then to 100 as you progress.
Exercise #4
Copy a given passage with your right hand. Record the time taken. Copy the same passage with your left hand. Record the time taken. Time taken in both the cases decreases as you progress.
Exercise #5
Read a given passage just as normally as you would read it. Record the time taken. Invert the same passage and read it. Record the time taken. Time taken in both the cases decreases as you progress.
In sum, we all need the help of both right and left brain in learning and carrying out our daily activities. The only difference is right brain is associated to creativity, innovation, problem solving, learning new situations, practical learning, etc. Left brain, on the other hand, is more concerned with language and logical learning.
Yours forever,
Rajendra Sagolsem
Learning is the first thing in memory. Without learning nothing can be remembered. There are certain tested learning techniques. Apply these techniques in your studies and see the results for yourself. They are explained below.
Learning through comprehension
If you comprehend the meaning, the pattern, the cause and effect, etc., you can learn any lesson easily and quickly. Not only that, you can retain it for longer periods and retrieve it when you need it. On the contrary, you will forget less comprehended lesson in no time.
Spaced learning
Learning should be spaced over a period of time. Learning a lesson one hour a day for 3 days will definitely be better than learning the whole thing in three hours for just one day. Learn in a fun way. Never take it as a compulsion.
Learning through recitation
Learning through recitation is very effective. Once you have learned a lesson, revise by reciting it loudly. This will strengthen your learning by engaging your auditory memory. This will improve your speaking habit and pronunciation too.
Learning through writing
Learning through writing is also very effective. Once you have learned a lesson through visual channel, revise by writing it. This will engage your muscle memory to strengthen your learning of the lesson. This will also improve your handwriting.
Whole and part learning
Whole learning and part learning are two methods we can adopt. Some people are good at whole learning and others are good at part learning. Find out for yourself which method best suits you with the help of the following exercises.
Exercises:
Take two poems of 16 lines divided into four stanzas, each stanza having 4 lines. Name one poem A and name the other B.
(1) Learn poem A by whole method
Read the whole poem from the beginning to the end just once. Reproduce the poem as much as you can. Record the time (T1) you have taken, and count the errors (E1) you have made.
(2) Learn poem B by part method
Read the first stanza just once. Reproduce it as much as you can. Read the second stanza only once. Reproduce that too. Do the same thing for the remaining stanzas. Now reproduce the entire poem. Record the time taken (T2), and count the errors (E2) made.
If the values of T1 and E1 are less than that of T2 and E2, learning by whole method suits you better. While learning by whole method, make efforts to grasp the meaning of the lesson. Once you know the meaning, find out all the major underlying ideas of the lesson. Then link all these ideas to the meaning of the whole lesson.
If the results are just contrary, you better opt for part learning. While learning by part method, divide the whole lesson into meaningful parts. The parts may be paragraphs or sections. Learn each paragraph or section with its underlying ideas. Put all the ideas together to derive the meaning of the whole lesson.
Learning through reinforcement
You learn better if your learning is reinforced by certain conditions. You learn better when you reinforce your theoretical learning with practical conditions. Learning through reinforcement can be beneficially adopted in science subjects.
Learning through distinct marks, figures and background
You learn better if you relate your lesson with distinct marks, figures and background. While reading your lesson, underline all the words or sentences that you think are important. Or mark them with marking inks of different colors. Assign them serial numbers and put the numbers in your memory file. Or take the beginning letters of all the marked words or sentences and create mnemonic chains out of them like you do with VIBGYOR.
Learning through association
You learn better and remember longer what you have learned if you learn it through association. Linking technique and guided imagery are all good examples. You can adopt these techniques to make your learning more effective.
Learning just before sleep
While sleeping, you don’t experience anything with your conscious mind. In other words, you don’t learn much in your dreams. You can take this advantage. Learn a lesson just before sleeping and revise it when you just wake up. Practice this and you will be amazed to see the results.
Confident learning
Confident learning means developing your confidence while learning a lesson. Think that you will learn the lesson. And believe in what you think. Confidence develops only when you believe in yourself.
Never think that you have a poor memory. There is nothing like bad or good memory. Your memory depends on your training and your efforts put in the training.
Yours forever,
Rajendra Sagolsem
What is Memory?
Memory is a mental process. It has three parts such as, - Learning,
- Retaining, and
- Reproducing.
We all give importance to the reproducing part of memory. We all seem to think that improving memory is improving the reproducing part. For your information, we can’t reproduce a thing that has not been learned and retained. Can you remember a person you have never seen? You just can’t. Likewise, you can’t remember a lesson you have never read. Can you? Even if you have read a lesson, you can’t reproduce it unless you have retained it too in your memory. So when we talk of memory, we should understand all the three parts.
What is learning?
Learning means registering or recording. It means entering data into our memory system. Whatever we see, hear, smell, taste and feel through our five senses and whatever we think and imagine are all registered and retained in our memory system. When you read a lesson, you register it in your memory. When you meet a new friend, you register his name, his face, his body structure, and his behavior in your memory. Whenever you do something, you register it in your memory. We are just like a video camera that goes on recording the events. The moment we were born, our camera started recording every event. It didn’t stop even a single second. Whatever it has recorded so far are stored in our mind.
What is retaining?
When you have read a lesson, you have registered it. However if you don’t retain it in your memory system, you won’t remember it. Suppose you have written down on a piece of paper the name of the new friend you met. This is equivalent to registering or recording. You put the piece of paper in your pocket. But when you meet the new friend after a long gap, you search for the piece of paper on which his name was written. You don’t find it. Now can you call his name? Never! Whatever you register or record should be retained properly so that you must be able to remember it whenever required.
What is reproducing?
Yes, this is the part in which we all want to excel. You know something? Joe Louis says, “Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.” We all know the only precondition for going to heaven is to die. If we are alive, we are still on earth. Likewise, to excel in the reproducing part of your memory, you have to excel in learning and retaining as well. This amounts to saying that our ability to reproduce something perfectly or nicely is the result of the quality of our efforts put in learning and retaining it in our memory system.
Physical basis of memory
Memory is a function of brain. We can also say the other way round. Brain is the physical basis of memory. Without brain, memory is not possible. So we have to take care of our brain. For proper functioning of our brain, we have to do some special exercises and take special diets.
The brain
Human brain has three main parts,
- Brain Stem,
- Cerebellum, and
- Cerebrum.
Brain stem has three parts – Midbrain, Pons, and Medulla Oblongata. Midbrain controls the eye movements. The Pons links the two hemispheres of the cerebrum. The medulla oblongata elongates to form the spinal cord and regulates breathing, heartbeat and blood circulation.
Cerebellum is situated just behind the brain stem. It controls the body movements. Therefore it has a body movement memory called Muscle Memory or Kinesthetic memory. Athletes have well developed cerebellum.
Cerebrum is part of the human brain where thinking and feeling take place. It is divided into four areas or lobes. They are:
- Frontal lobe: This area deals with abstract problems.
- Parietal lobe: This deals with sensory data.
- Occipital lobe: This deals with vision.
- Temporal lobe: This deals with memory, hearing, and language.
Cerebrum has two systems that work in tandem. They are called Neocortex and Limbic.
Neocortex system: It deals with thinking. - Limbic system: It deals with feeling. It is the system where our mind meets our body, our thought meets our emotion, and our endocrine glandular system interfaces with our brain.
The limbic system is again divided into five parts. They are:
- Hippocampus: It stores short-term memories that are dry and unemotional.
- Amygdala: It stores long-term emotional memories. Any experience involved with strong emotions is stored in it for a life time.
- Hypothalamus: Closely connected to amygdala, it deals with the ways and means with which our body responds to various stimuli. It sends message to pituitary gland which relays it to the rest of our body. It also controls body temperature and hunger. In case of extreme situations, it sends message for more adrenaline.
- Thalamus: It serves as a relay center. It picks up all the sensory messages except smell. It relays all the messages to the concerned processing centers in the brain.
- Pituitary: It is called the third eye and is involved in intuition. It is also called the master endocrine gland. It gives orders to other glands about what to do. It receives messages from hypothalamus and helps our body produce hormones in order to face the situations.
Neurons and synapses
A normal human brain has approximately 100 billion neurons. Each neuron can make 100,000 possible connections with its axons and dendrites. This shows that our brain can make 100 trillion possible connections for our thinking, various perceptions, feelings, actions, etc. Each connection is called a synapse. And synapses record the data of life’s events.
Left and right hemispheres
The whole brain is divided into left hemisphere and right hemisphere. The left hemisphere is connected with the right side of our body through a nerve. So it deals with whatever we do with our right side. Likewise, the right hemisphere is connected through another nerve with the left side of our body. It deals therefore with whatever we do with our left side. For our convenience, we will call the left hemisphere left brain and the right hemisphere the right brain. For improving memory, we have to use the left brain as well as right brain.
Left brain has a thinking pattern that is mostly logical, linear, orderly, rational, sequential, organized, systematic, reality based, dealing with abstract ideas, verbal expression, reading, writing, auditory association, identifying facts and figures, phonetics and symbolism, and micro approach.
Right brain’s thinking pattern is mostly creative, imaginative, random, intuitive, non-verbal ways of knowing, unorganized, spatial awareness, shape and pattern recognition, art, music, color sensitivity, feeling the presence of objects and people, visualization, and macro approach.
Why should we have a good memory?
Knowledge is power. If we have knowledge, we have power. We acquire knowledge through learning and experiencing. We go on learning and experiencing every day of our life. But if we don’t remember whatever we have learned, our learning is useless. We must be able to remember what we have learned. We must be able to recall it whenever and wherever we want it.
Whether we are students, teachers, parents, engineers, doctors, administrators, lawyers, businesspersons, sports persons, politicians, or religious leaders, we all need a good memory. You can do better in your profession provided you utilize your memory in better ways.
Types of memory
For the sake of knowledge, let me tell you that there are three important types of memory. They are visual memory, auditory memory and kinesthetic memory. In general, our memories are 65% visual, 20% auditory and 15% kinesthetic. Visual memory is related to seeing, and auditory to hearing. Kinesthetic relates to the muscle memory.
You might have heard about so many other types of memory. But for us, we require only two types of memory. One is untrained memory and another is trained memory. And remember, untrained memory can be trained.
Yours forever,
Rajendra Sagolsem
In one of my previous articles, I asked you to “wake the leader in you.” Today, I will tell you about the essential qualities of a good leader and how you can develop them.
Some leaders are born but most of them are trained. Either they train themselves or they are trained in a training school. The complete qualities of a leader are manifold. But Stephen Kindel has identified four basic leadership qualities. All the leaders around the globe share these qualities. Without any one of these, you will disqualify yourself to be a leader. These four qualities are perhaps the only ones that all the leaders possess, irrespective of their demographic situation and time. They are the following:
1. Embracing Responsibility
All good leaders embrace responsibility and lead the people to achieve their common goal. A good leader is the one who is willing to accept the responsibility to see a cause through to the end. Bad leaders don’t do so. They try but bail out soon. They often change their mind quickly. They don’t want to bear the pain of seeing any cause through to the end.
2. Eliciting The Cooperation Of Others
All good leaders seek the cooperation of others while leading them. What is the meaning of a leader if there are no followers? Without the cooperation of the followers, how can a leader lead? These are simple but meaningful questions. The leaders require the help of others for what they have to accomplish. In fact, they need the wisdom and insight of others. Their impact as a leader is broadened and strengthened when they get cooperation from others.
3. Listening Well
Ability to listen well is a valuable quality that a good leadership demands. Listening may look like an insignificant activity. But it is not. 80% of your work to be accomplished as a leader depends on your listening to others. But most of the ordinary leaders don’t listen. They command. They force. Sometimes, they intimidate. Great leaders never stop listening. They really love to listen. They are ever alert listening with great attention to advisers, followers, inner voices, to enemies, and even to the wind. Your listening power proves your open-mindedness.
4. Placing Others’ Interest Above Their Own
To help the group achieve a common goal is all what a leader should do. Look at other’s interests as more important than your own. Jesus Christ modeled this in the supreme way by placing people’s eternal destiny above his own divine rights. What an example for a leader to follow! This is how they should treat those they lead!
Kindel says, “While most people do at least one or two of these things to some extent, the best leaders are those who do all these things with consistency." And therein lies the test of a leader’s maximum effectiveness.
Besides Kindel’s basic qualities, there are other qualities to be considered. They are: (a) Leaders are trustworthy.
(b) Leaders are fair and just.
(c) Leaders are sensitive to people.
(d) Leaders are sensitive to situations
(e) Leader exhibit unassuming behavior.
(f) Leaders don’t have specific visiting hours.
(g) Leaders are punctual.
(h) Leaders are polite and
(i) Leaders are hard working.
Tips for developing leadership qualities:
1. Be Simple:
Simplicity may seem too uninspiring. But it helps leaders to remain in touch with people around them. You must exhibit some amount of humility too. When famous American investor and stock marketer Warren Buffet was asked how he learnt to handle his enormous power and wealth, he said, “I live now the way I lived 30 years ago.” But many people change their behavior when they become wealthy and powerful. If your are simple, people will like you. If you show humility, they will like you even more. At the heart of their heart, people don’t like anybody who is superior to them. If you want to lead a group of people, try your level best to be one of them. Don’t act as if you are the one who knows everything. Remember what Lord Chesterfield said, “Be wiser than other people, if you can, but do not tell them so.”
2. Acknowledge Your Mistakes:
All leaders have certain inadequacies. However, the natural tendency to hide those inadequacies must be avoided. You must give an analytical thought to your weaknesses so as to understand yourself better. President John F. Kennedy was well known to take the responsibility for the mistakes committed by the officers in his administration. If you can take the responsibility for the mistake committed by any member of your group, you can be a great leader.
3. Test The Reality:
Leaders who have thrived on power engage in reality testing. They don’t live in fantasy. You, as a leader, have to check the information you receive and review your assumptions regularly. Reality testing helps you prepare for the unexpected.
4. Anticipate:
Leaders need to anticipate and to be careful about what might go wrong. Some leaders slip upon small steps. They overlook some problems as petty matters. But they don’t know these petty matters, if neglected, will pile up to become a serious matter one day. You, as a good leader, should not consider anything insignificant. You should sort out any problem whether big or small instantly. But be always on guard about your one misstep that can totally derail your mission.
5. Take Decisions:
Today’s way of life demands action, not diffidence. You can’t remain indecisive in any matter related to your leadership. You may take some time, but you should take a strong decision as early as possible. People like to follow leaders who take strong decisions and commit to their decisions. If you want to become or remain an efficient leader, you must be more thoughtful too.
6. Show Courage:
You should show courage by maintaining composure during hard times. Acknowledge when things don’t go according to the plan. Seek views of the people you lead. Give and seek feedback. In matters of taste, you can swim with the current. But in matters of principle, you should stand like a rock. This is how you can show your courage. People like leaders who have courage.
7. Empower Others:
You should empower others by enabling an innovative approach to problem solving, by providing appropriate support to the people you lead, by sharing information that enables others to achieve the common goal or goals, by delegating tasks and responsibility to others, by providing clear direction and framework for the common objectives.
8. Demonstrate Trust:
You should demonstrate trust by creating an environment in which people feel comfortable expressing their opinion. Provide your group members with opportunities to take responsibilities. Treat the people fairly without favoritism. Anticipate changes in direction. Provide the framework of proposed changes and help others through that change. Be honest and open in dealing with the people and impending issues.
9. Encourage:
You should encourage people to seek opportunities which challenge their capabilities. Encourage people to learn through experience and training, personal development through coaching. Create an environment in which work is done with a sense of fun. Train them for new and innovative ways to improve their communication skills. The key to leading effectively is not hereditary. The ability to deliver an appropriate combination of personal techniques, procedure and behaviors for any challenge is a valuable leadership quality. Like any other skill, leadership can be learned and developed.
Development of leadership qualities can start at the early stage. Younger generations are very advanced in leadership training. They are training the members of their own generation in acquiring leadership skills. Most of today’s adults didn’t think about taking leadership training during their prime time. Opportunities to develop leadership skills and leadership qualities are not limited to young generations. Adults can also start learning how to develop leadership qualities. They can join some Social Service organizations, Self Help groups, etc. There is a huge wealth of opportunities for those interested in developing leadership skills and leadership qualities. If you want, you can even join a political party. But simply joining will not make a leader. You have to actively participate in every activity of the organization or the party.
Even if you don’t aspire to be a public leader, there are various situations where you can apply leadership skills. For example, you are or are going to be the head of your family. If you apply the leadership skills, how happy and progressive your family will be! Everyone needs to develop leadership qualities, so as you.
Yours forever,
Rajendra Sagolsem
For all of us, home is a sweet home. It’s here that we relax, enjoy and entertain one another. In works or other engagements, we usually feel physically, mentally and emotionally tense. It’s only at home that we find peace. The amount of daily tension lowers down in a peaceful home.
To make a home peaceful, there are some useful tips that we all can follow. They are:
Leave Work At The Work Place
Leave your work at the work place. Don’t bring home anything from work. You might be thinking of completing it at home. But do you think working at home will give you peace? It might disturb your family responsibilities. This will rather destroy the peaceful home atmosphere. Work is work and home is home. You have lots of other things to do at home. You have to communicate with other members of your family.
Some people work from home. If you work from home, set aside a separate room for your works. Never work in your sleeping room or a common hall. You will mix your works with home responsibilities. If possible, make a genuine work place in your house. Leave each and every work there when you are over with it every day.
Reorganize Your Home
We come back home to relax and enjoy with other family members. But many of us fail to feel exactly how we should feel. Almost everything is untidy. Almost everything is in a mess and disorganized. If this situation is yours, take out a weekend to reorganize your house. Ask each and every family member to join the program. And check the difference. If you keep all your household items in an organized manner, you feel relaxed. And the chances are high that your home is more peaceful.
Suppose your home is well organized and tidy. But you find the same thing at the same place every day. When you come back, you feel monotonous rather than relaxed. You are less attentive to them as usual. We all take interest in new things and give more attention to them. Change the positions of some small items. You will see the same thing, but in new locations. When you come back home, you will fail to ignore them for days.
Rejuvenate Yourself
Some people have the habit of starting domestic activities as soon as they reach home. Rejuvenate and refresh yourself before rushing up to your domestic works. Take 5-10 minutes to relax. Lie on an easy chair for a while. Take a shower. These small things will rejuvenate and refresh you.
Most people play music to lighten the pressures and tension. The positive effect of soft and melodious music is very high. So, as soon as you reach home, play a melodious music that can cool you down. The music may be vocal or anything of your own choice. But choosing a calm and melodious music will drive away most of your stresses. Play the music till you feel relaxed. Or you can play as long as it doesn’t disturb you in your other activities.
Choose A Hobby
The importance of a hobby is seldom questioned. If you have a hobby, you will get involved in it. If you are engaged in interesting activities, there will be fewer distractions. Reading joke books can be one of your hobbies. Read a few new jokes that make you laugh heartily and loudly. You will forget most of the pressures and tension you have experienced in the day. If you are expert in making jokes, share every new joke with other members of the family. Laugh out loudly along with them. Laughing out loudly lessens tension and anxiety. Make this your habit.
Be Considerate And Be Grateful
Look around to see how other members are feeling. They also have stresses as you do. If you feel that someone in your family is not as happy as others, you must try to find out the reasons. Be considerate and talk the things out.
Encourage everyone in the family to do something good to contribute to maintaining peace at home. When someone does something good, take special efforts to praise them. Let them know that you appreciate what they have done.
Be Friendly
Some people have the habit of fighting for anything. If the matter is insignificant and harmless, why should we fight? Be friendly with everyone in the family.
- Don’t indulge in criticizing anyone unnecessarily.
- People make mistakes. Don’t blame anyone for their mistakes. Instead, try to find out other alternatives together.
- Don’t nag, irritate or annoy anyone in the family. If they are irritated, the peaceful home atmosphere is damaged.
When something is not a big deal, just let it go. Take care of maintaining your inner peace too. If you don’t have inner peace, there will be no peace at home. But if you are involved in some sort of conflict at home, allow yourself to cool down. You might realize that the issue wasn’t as big as you first thought. Later, you will be able to calmly talk about your feelings.
Create An Atmosphere For Effective Relationship
Family is a web of relationships that requires all members to work together. It is in the family that each member contributes their share in achieving a common goal. Create an atmosphere for effective relationship at home. Peace at home is well maintained if members have the freedom to express their feelings and concerns. For many, relationship is a very delicate thing. It requires extra efforts to maintain. But it is also something that can provide security in the family. Building an effective relationship is necessary for many reasons. For instance, the well being of the members depends on how efficiently and effectively your family works. Your family is also dependent on how the members work. An ineffective family can really be very frustrating. But an effective family is where peace lies.
Listen Carefully
Listen carefully what others say. Don’t pre-judge anyone. This is important for the members to understand one another. Informal discussions are helpful for a family. They bring out issues and concerns comfortably. They also feel more relaxed when they think independently. Develop an atmosphere where the family members can freely express their feelings. When they fail to express clearly, maintaining peace becomes difficult.
Understanding the feeling and position of the members creates a free atmosphere. The easiest method is to ask them what they want. And carefully listen to what they say. Listening attentively is one way of giving importance to other fellow.
Respect Each And Every Member
Respect is the key to relationship. If there is a good relationship, peace prevails. To create a more effective relationship, members should respect one another. Just listen to what they say and sincerely understand how they work. Sincerely appreciate how they are doing in the family. Don’t allow unfounded facts and prejudices to influence your judgment and appreciation.
Another important area is to tackle differences directly. It is important to know that people differ in perspectives. For any topic, people come up with different opinions. Discussions may provide clear solutions.
Avoid Arguments
Arguments should be avoided. If you win, you lose the relationship. If you are defeated, the chances are high that your relationship is strengthened. You should be the one to know this principle of relationship. Your goal is to maintain peace at home. If there are strained relationships, there will be no peace. Put more efforts to understand what each of your family members want. Be aware that certain things occur naturally. Anger is one of them. Minimize or channelize it in a better way. Control stereotyping, mistrust and blaming in any discussion in the family.
Please note that physical, mental and emotional health of every family member entirely depend on the peace at home.
Yours forever,
Rajendra Sagolsem
You can be happy as much as you like. Let us begin with a quote from Abraham Lincoln. He said, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." What a beautiful idea!
People worry most of the time. People may worry about an impending danger. They may worry about their future. They may worry about their children’s future. They are unnecessarily anxious about what will happen to them. But is it necessary to worry about something you haven’t come across? Worry is mostly about future. You may plan for future. While planning, you may envisage some problems. Let those problems come to confront you directly. And rest assured that you will definitely find a solution for each problem. Remember, there is a solution for every problem. So, don’t worry, be happy.
Living a happy life can be wonderful. Living a healthy, an optimistic, and a progressive life can be more wonderful. Living a happy life really drives away serious stresses of life and resulting diseases. Be cheerful, laugh out, concentrate your mind on the present, and carry on with your daily activities. Don’t think too much about future. Enjoy the present, and future will take care of itself.
Have you heard Bobby McFerrin’s solo hit? I will reproduce some of the relevant portions of the lyric.
“Don’t worry, be happy
In every life we have some trouble
When you worry you make it double
Don’t worry, be happy ……” (Bobby McFerrin)
The song was released simultaneously with the movie, “Cocktail” in 1988. It became so popular that the song was used in the George H. W. Bush’s 1988 election campaign. It was used in many films and TV soundtracks in many forms. The song has conveyed its message of happiness to everyone. The simple message made a lot of people happy by telling them not to worry.
Then how can you make yourself happy? You can make yourself happy by changing your way of thinking. But some people are just contented about what is happening around in their life. They think they don’t require a change. But many people are not as happy as they want to be with their present position. They want to progress in their life.
If you too want progress, you have the greatest power of making changes in your life. If necessary, change yourself. While changing, you may come across so many difficulties. Even if you find yourself in a miserable condition, don’t worry.
“Because when you worry
Your face will frown
And that will bring everybody down
Don’t worry, be happy ………..” (Bobby McFerrin)
Another way of being happy and not to worry is just act like a child. Play with children sometimes. We all notice how most of the small children express happiness. They don’t worry. They are happy. They are just absorbed in their play. They don’t have any serious stress. They are healthy.
Involving in social networking and social relationships pave a way to happiness. In order to be happy with people, you should keep in mind that all the people are not alike.
You should accept them as what they are. Avoid clashes, arguments, and forget all kinds of bitterness.
To be happy is relatively easy. Just decide to be a happy person. Most people for most of the time can choose how happy or stressed, how relaxed or troubled, how bright or dull their outlook to be (Abraham Lincoln). The choice is yours. But choose to be as happy as you can be.
If you choose to be happy as much as you like, practice the following:
1. Be Grateful
To be grateful is a part of positive mental attitude. Be thankful to your Mom and Dad for bringing you up. Be thankful to your spouse for taking care of you. Be grateful to your helper for keeping your house clean. Be thankful to the person who cooks your daily meals. Be grateful to your neighbor for living in harmony. Be Grateful to the Almighty God for giving you a wonderful life. You have so much to be grateful for in your daily life. Be thankful to anybody or anything that deserves your gratitude.
2. Avoid Bad News
Bad news in the morning spoils the whole day. Will you be happy if you read 10 innocent people including 3 women and 2 children have been gun down somewhere in the wee hour today? Will you be happy if you read a 16 year old girl has been killed today after a gang rape? Get less doze of bad news. Starting the day with bad news is not a sensible thing to do. So, be selective in your reading. Read all the headings first, and then choose the news that will give you positive feedback and stimulation. The purpose is to keep you happy throughout the day.
3. Happiness and Religion
For some people, there is a close connection between happiness and religion. If you are religious, be a part of a religious group which performs daily rituals like singing, chanting, prayers and meditations. That will foster inner peace and bring happiness to you.
4. Manage Your Time
Time is invaluable and too important to waste. Time management can be viewed as a list of rules that involves scheduling, setting goals, planning, creating to-do-lists and prioritizing. These are the core basics of time management. These should be understood to develop an efficient time management skill. These basic skills can be fine tuned to include the finer points of each skill that can give you extra benefits to get the results you want. If you can manage your time well, you will be a happy person.
5. Laugh Out Everyday
Laugh out heartily every day. Read joke books. Listen to your friends who are expert in making beautiful jokes. If you know good jokes, tell your friends or family members and laugh out together. But jokes should not hurt the sentiment of any one. Spend quality time with your family with jokes, stories, and quotes of happy people.
6. Share Your Experiences
Share your experiences with your friends and family members. Express your feelings, affections, friendship and passion to people around you. Don’t suppress your anger. Channelize or sublimate it. Don’t keep any ill-feeling for anybody. Instead find out effective means to express them in a better way. Don’t hurt anyone’s sentiment and cause any injury.
If you are suffering from a bad man's injustice, forgive him lest there will be two bad men (Augustine).
7. Work Hard
There is no substitute for hard work. It is important everywhere in our life. Hard work brings tremendous personal satisfaction. It gives a feeling of competency. If you are competent you are happy. Not only that, competency enables us to accomplish our tasks without much mistakes. It takes less time too. Accomplishment is necessary for all of us. It gives us a sense of self worth. And self worth makes you happy.
Last tips
Don’t worry. Worry gives a small thing a big shadow. A healthy person is a happy person. Learn some joyful exercises. Run, jog, walk and do other things that your organs and muscles require. These will give you physical and mental strength. And you will feel lively. These are the few simple things you can do everyday to be happy. Even after that you come across something undesirable,
“Don’t worry, it will soon past
Whatever it is
Don’t worry, be happy ……” (Bobby McFerrin)
Life is made up of a series of problems. And happiness lies in solving them one by one as you progress in your life. So, don’t worry, be happy.
Yours forever,
Rajendra Sagolsem
Law of Attraction is a theory that suggests that you will come across whatever you think persistently in your life. If you think you will be rich one day, you will be rich one day. If you think you will quarrel with your neighbor, you will do it one day for sure. Our thought attracts or repels our actions. Positive thought attracts positive action. And negative thought attracts negative action. Many theories have been propounded since the beginning of human history. Law of attraction is one of them. This theory tells us that we can achieve anything we want simply by changing our thinking patterns. Today the law of attraction is one of the most interesting theories.
The main problem with the theory of law of attraction is the question of how thoughts alone can impact the way we do. But according to the law of attraction, an individual’s actions are controlled by their thoughts. This is a sort of subjective reality.
In subjective reality, the consciousness that exists is only your own. Since nobody is aware of how you think, you are the only person who can control your way of thinking.
Law of attraction has some important sub-laws. Here they are:
1) Law of Manifestation
This law proposes that overall consciousness is something that we ultimately choose. You can choose to be conscious so that you can have complete awareness. Though we may not completely recognize it, we constantly ask ourselves the questions that pertain to our consciousness.
2) Law of Magnetism
This law tells us about equal return for our thinking. You can attract energy of the same kind only. If you think positively, you will gain positive results. If you think negatively, you will get negative results. The energies being constantly recycled by all living creatures fill the whole Universe. So you can choose the type of energy you want to get.
3) Law of Pure Desire
This law says your desire will have a great impact on your return. If your actions and thoughts are driven by your pure desire, you can achieve what you want to achieve. In order for your desire to be pure, you must think without any fear, any doubt, or any notion of desperation. Your motives must be clear, honest and worthy.
4) Law of Paradoxical Intent
This law tells us that situations evolve as a result of our thought. For instance, if you act in desperation, a paradox will be created. And this will result in a negative return on your intended energy. Since you are desperate in your thoughts, a certain vibration will be sent out in your environment. This vibration will have a negative impact on the world around you.
5) Law of Harmony
This law tells us about a person’s ability to gain the good things in their life. If you want to live in harmony with people and the Nature, avoid sending out negative vibrations. Sending out positive vibration is possible only if you make a conscious decision to align yourself with people around you and the flow of the Nature. This is one of the Universal laws that require the kind of absolute attention to positive thinking.
6) Law of Right Action
This law tells us that the people who do the right things in life are well rewarded. This law indicates that in order to gain experiences about value, honor and dignity, we must do our part to promote those qualities in our own surrounding. On the contrary, if we do anything to break down those important qualities, we will see those things deteriorate and erode in our own life. We should therefore constantly think about our choices. And we should keep in our mind the impact our choices might have on ourselves as well as on others.
7) Law of Expanding Influence
This law says that people have dominant power of their own personal energy. Energy constantly expands in this world. You can have a large personal positive energy. If you work hard to send out positive vibration, your positive energy can be felt throughout the world. You can make a conscious decision to live a quality life that promotes happiness for those around you. Then you will see your positive power of influence eventually expand to impact all of those people and things around you.
To be successful, all the seven sub-laws should be given equal importance. One sub-law would be completely ineffective without the other sub-laws.
You should apply the law of attraction to all aspects of your life if you want success with it. We are creatures of habit. Once you start experiencing success, you will be led to more successes. In order to be successful, you need to believe that your dream will come true. Affirmation is a part of powerful positive thinking. Affirm your commitment.
Final Tips
It is not difficult to follow the law of attraction. Once you actually start doing whatever we have discussed, things will come to their proper shape and positive results will follow. No one can deny the fact that positive thinking has a positive impact on a person’s life. If you want to truly find success, you can’t simply look at law of attraction and its sub-laws. You have to apply them to all aspects of your life. Though every action originates from our mind, consistent and persistent hard work alone can bring you success. Don’t forget to quickly take advantage of every opportunity that comes to you. Don’t wait. Remember what Abraham Lincoln said, “Things may come to those who wait. But only the things left over by those who hustle.”
If you are a happy, positive and enthusiastic person, people will be happy to be around you.
Yours forever,
Rajendra Sagolsem
Most people are just comfortable as they are. They are comfortable with what is going on in their surroundings. They are comfortable with the activities they are carrying out. They are comfortable with everything in their present level or location. This present level or location is their comfort zone. Everything is just fine, and they feel safe and sound there. They develop some sort of a fear for new surroundings. So they don’t want to come out of this zone.
Just think about your present activities. Are you satisfied with what you are at present? Are you satisfied with your present activities? If the answers are positive, you are still stagnating in your comfort zone. Or do you think about improving your physical, mental, and emotional health? Do you think about improving your social and financial status? If you want to improve, how much effort will you be able to put in to do all these? You very well know that without putting efforts, you can’t achieve anything in life. If you want to improve your status and are ready to put in enough efforts, you are on your way to achieve what you want. Congratulate yourself because you are one of those 5-10% people in the world who are trying to come out of their comfort zone.
90% to 95% of people will withdraw to the comfort zone when what they try doesn't work. Only that small percentage, 5 or 10 percent, will continually raise the bar on themselves; they will push themselves out into the zone of discomfort, and these are always the highest performers in every field. (Brian Tracy)
Let us suppose you are living on the ground floor. And you are quite comfortable there. This ground floor is your shell inside which you live comfortably with a sense of security. This is your comfort zone. You might never think of going out of your comfort zone. Or maybe, you are afraid to do so. But opportunities for growth, progress, and success are on the other floors above you. Sometimes, you might be thinking of climbing up to the other floors and seek new opportunities. But you never did it. It is because either you were afraid to climb up or you felt pain while climbing up. So you came back to the ground floor which is your comfort zone.
Suppose, on the first floor, opportunities lie for your personal growth and positive changes. Once you climb up there, you will get better physical, mental, and emotional health. Your muscles will become bigger. Your heart will be healthier. Your lungs will absorb more oxygen. Your body fat will be burnt. Your skin will glow. And you will become a perfectly handsome or beautiful person.
Suppose, on the second floor, opportunities lie for social and financial growth. If you reach there, you will improve your financial position and social status. You will be able to interact with people of higher status.
Suppose, on the third floor, opportunities lie for your spiritual growth. If you climb up to that floor, you will attain self realization. You will come to know who you are and the purpose of your life.
And suppose, on the other floors above, so many unknown opportunities are waiting for you.
If you are not seeing any progress in your life, you are still inside your comfort zone. In order to make a positive change in your life, you have to expand your boundaries by climbing up to other floors. A few steps above your ground floor are all it takes to grow and improve yourself in physical, mental, and emotional health. Then why shouldn’t you take those few steps to live a better life? What makes those little steps so difficult for you?
The answer is simple. You are quite satisfied with your activities inside your comfort zone or you are afraid of success. Many people are afraid of success. That’s why they are not successful. They don’t want to come out of their comfort zone and take the risks. They very well know the saying, “No pain, no gain.” Still they are afraid of pain and sacrifice their gain. The moment they leave their comfort zone, they feel pain, discomfort, and awkwardness. So they move back to their comfort zone.
All positive changes take place outside the comfort zone. Therefore, change is painful to them because it lies outside their comfort zone. But change is the law of life. Without change there will be no progress. Most people are afraid of change. Therefore they fail to improve themselves.
Pain may be physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual. Those who are against the old adage, “No pain, no gain” are all in their comfort zone. These are the people who have not achieved anything worthwhile in their life. They are amongst the 90-95% people who are satisfied with everything in their comfort zone. Don’t follow them. Instead, follow those 5-10% people of the world who have come out of their comfort zone and achieved great things in their life.
The highest achievers are those who consistently push themselves out of their comfort zones. Instead of withdrawing to their comfort zones when they don't get immediate results, they force themselves to stay at this awkward, uncomfortable and painful level of performance until the pain finally subsides and they become comfortable at the new higher level (University of Chicago research result).
If you want to improve yourself and succeed, don’t avoid pain. Rather embrace it and accept it as part of your endeavor. Benefits of growth and success should outweigh the pain and discomfort.
Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit however, it lasts forever (Cyclist Lance Armstrong).
I hated every minute of the training. But I said to myself, bear the pain NOW and live the rest of your life as a champion ((Muhammad Ali).
Now look at your ground floor, your comfort zone. Do you think you can expand it without climbing up to other floors? Never! Imagine coming out of your comfort zone and climbing up to higher floors. And imagine looking down to see how small a space you occupied before. So now come out of your comfort zone, and see how countless opportunities are waiting for you.
Compared to what we ought to be, we are only half awake. Our fires are dampened, our drafts are checked. We are making use of only a small part of our possible mental and physical resources. The human individual thus lives usually far within his limits; he possesses powers of various sorts which he habitually fails to use. He energizes below his maximum, and he behaves below his optimum (William James).
Remember, you have a great potential. But you are using only a tiny fraction of your physical potential and even less of your mind. Wake up now and jump out of your comfort zone. Improve your health. Improve your personality. Improve your status. Set your new goals to achieve in your life time. Put in the required efforts. Achieving your goal is the cost of your efforts. Embrace the pain, discomfort, embarrassment, and awkwardness in the changed situation. They will not last long. If you are determined and patient enough to stay at this new level or location, every discomfort will turn into comfort. The pain will become pleasure. Embarrassment and awkwardness will all subside.
Moreover, pain of every change is forgotten when the benefits of that change are realized (Tom Hopkins).
Have you seen any deceleration in the intellectual, athletic, and scientific advancement during the past few decades? You might not have. On the contrary, the progress is accelerating in a never before speed. Knowledge in every field is increasing. And this is mainly because of those brave souls who had the guts to come out of their comfort zone. You might wonder to see the mediocre masses left far behind while the progress is accelerating in every field. This is simply because the mediocrities would rather retreat to their comfort zone. They prefer the stability and security of their comfort zone rather than to step forward to grow and excel.
By now, you might have given some thought to the reasons why you should come out of your comfort zone. And you might have been well motivated to climb up to the first floor. Suppose you have collected all your courage. You have decided to take those few steps to climb up. You have also decided to bear all the pain and discomfort in your new surroundings. And you have finally reached the first floor. But I must warn you! Make sure that the first floor doesn’t become another comfort zone for you. Don’t stagnate there for long. As soon as you get whatever you wanted to get from the first floor, get ready for the next mission. Climb up to the second floor. When your mission is successfully completed there, immediately go up to third floor. Continue climbing continuously until you realize your worth and live a far better life.
Remember, we must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons (Jim Rohn). Which one you like: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret? My suggestion is choose the pain of discipline and live a successful life. All pains will be forgotten when you achieve something great in life.
It is better to die for something than to live for nothing (Bob Jones). Instead of living a stagnating and degenerating life inside your comfort zone doing nothing worthwhile, come out now to do something great in your life.
Yours forever,
Rajendra Sagolsem
Human relationship is a very delicate affair. But we all want to build effective and lasting relationships. This enables us to get along well with people around us. It is needless to say that we are all building effective and lasting relationships. If you are seriously building effective and lasting relationships, there are some do’s and don’ts you may consider. They are explained as below:
Some Do’s
1. Love And Respect Others
Love and respect lay the very foundation for lasting relationships. You can show love and respect by listening to others sincerely to understand what they actually want to convey to you. If you want to love and respect others, love and respect yourself first. If you don’t love yourself and don’t have self respect, it will be very difficult for you to love and respect others. And people also will not love and respect you.
2. Sort Out Differences Quickly
Sort out any differences as quickly as possible. Delay in tackling the differences between you and others may turn the relationship strained and sore. It is natural that you and the other person may have two different viewpoints. Informal discussions can lead both of you to bring out the issues without much difficulty. And both of you will feel relaxed in thinking more clearly. And the reconciliation could turn out to be easier than you thought.
3. Be Understanding
Understanding others’ feelings paves a way for building effective relationships. The easiest method to understand what they feel is to ask them. Then listen to what they have to say. Effective and lasting relationships require you and the other persons to openly express your as well as their feelings on all matters related to relationship. Don’t assume that the other persons know what you need. Never assume that they will provide everything you need without your asking them for it.
4. Listen Carefully What Others Say
Create an atmosphere in which the other persons can express their feelings. Then, listen carefully what they have to say. Don’t interrupt when someone is saying something. Some people are too impatient listening to others. They don’t allow others to complete even one sentence. They frequently interrupt and bring forth their preconceived ideas. They are normally biased and they don’t like any new idea. They live in a tradition of their own.
If you are building relationships with such people, allow them to talk until they drop. But make a note in your mind of whatever good points included in their talks. When they are exhausted, speak briefly only to appreciate them. Point out the good points with a smile and thank them for their knowledge. They will be highly elated. And a relationship can be easily established.
5. Look For Others’ Interests
Look for others’ interest first before you put forth yours. If you talk to them mostly relating to their needs and interests, they will carefully listen. If you talk mainly about your interest, they will get bored. Never frequently use the word “I” the pronoun that is the worst enemy of human relationship. Instead, say “We.” That shows we are one and together in the present situation.
Some Don’ts
1. Don’t Argue With Others
Even if you win an argument, you still are a loser in human relationship. Suppose you and another person engage in a very serious argument. Suppose the other person has won the argument. How will you feel? Will you accept the defeat easily? Never! You may wear a fake smile on your face. But deep down in your heart, an uncomfortable feeling has already formed. You are hurt. Even if you are a reasonable person, you can’t forget the bitterness about your defeat. In case you win, the other person will experience the same thing. And a cordial relationship can’t be established. So don’t indulge in any kind of argument.
2. Don’t Hurt Others’ Sentiment
When you talk to others, don’t talk about things that will hurt their sentiment. Hurting others’ sentiment is a great mistake in building relationships. Some people unknowingly do it. Some people babble instead of talking. They open their mouth and say something first and then, maybe, think later. Such people are dangerous because their talks often hurt the sentiments of others. The result is an effective relationship can’t be established.
If you are building effective relationships, don’t forget to think before you speak. Choose your words and sentences that will be favorable to human relationship. Speak out only when needed. Otherwise, listen to others most of the time. You will become a popular person.
3. Don’t Judge Others Indiscriminately
Don’t quickly judge other persons seeing their face. Don’t judge them on unfounded facts and prejudice. Take your own time to do some analysis of how they behave. Some people may look rude outside but when you talk to them, they might turn out to be nice people. Some people might appear innocent but they may actually be a bad character. So don’t judge anybody in the first encounter.
4. Don’t Criticize Others Negatively
Criticizing in a negative way is dangerous in human relationship. If someone says you are always late. You don’t do anything good. You are lazy. You are hopeless. And so on. How will you react? You won’t be happy. You will hate that person. If they go on criticizing you, you may develop a lifelong hatred for that person. If you criticize a person negatively, they will act the same way as you do. So, avoid all kinds of negative criticism.
5. Don’t Complain About Others
Complaining shows the weakness or ill design of the complainer. If you complain about other persons, and if they come to know about it, your relation with them will be strained and bitter. And this will disrupt your efforts to build a relationship.
6. Don’t Blame Others For Your Own Faults
The world is full of people who indulge in blame game. But they don’t know that when they blame others, they are blaming themselves. Blaming others for their own faults is one of the ego-defense mechanisms. If they do something wrong, they don’t want to accept they did anything wrong. Rather they will start blaming others for their own faults. But this blame has serious repercussions. It breaks down the building of effective relationships. So if you are building a relationship, don’t blame anybody. Own the responsibility of the faults and mistakes you make. If somehow you yearn for blaming someone for your own fault, look into the mirror. There you will find him. Say loudly, “You are the person responsible for my faults.”
7. Don’t Look For Others’ Weaknesses
Nobody wants to feel weak. Even if they are really weak in something, they don’t want to accept that. Even if they realize their weaknesses, they will hide them. The matter becomes worse when someone points out their weaknesses. They will hate those who point out their weaknesses. And this will lay a big hurdle in the way to building relationships. So never try to find out or point out others’ weaknesses if you are seriously building effective relationships.
8. Don’t Try To Find Others’ Faults
Fault finding is very common amongst the ordinary people. Even if a person does lots of good things, the fault finders will try to pull them down for one small fault. The fault finders are negative people usually busy looking for loopholes and mistakes. They are not capable of appreciating the good works done by a person. They will be happy only if they can find a small fault of that person. They will make a big issue out of this small fault. These are the people who can make a mountain out of a molehill. They intentionally or unconsciously turn blind to all the good qualities of a person. They will find one weakness of the person and go on gossiping with loud laughter. They are noisy people. But remember what Mark Twain said, “Noise produces nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as though she has laid an asteroid.”If you are building relationships, turn blind to others’ faults. Far better, look at their good side, appreciate, and praise them.
Now you know some basics of building relationships. The rest is your turn. Train yourself. Almost all the great people in the past trained themselves. More importantly, go to the actual field and practice building human relationships.
Yours forever,
Rajendra Sagolsem
In the previous article, I wrote about the meaning of body language and how you can recognize it. Today, I would like to add something special for job seekers as well as employers. In this age of computers and internet, job seekers have the advantage of applying for a job through internet. Most of the employers also prefer candidates who apply online. So, job seekers are looking for their job opportunities through internet. If you are also one of them and suppose you are called for an interview, be cautious about your body language. The moment you enter the interview room, your body language will give the first impression about yourself to the interviewers.
It’s Okay To Be A Little Bit Nervous
Every one shows a little bit of nervousness during an interview. Day before the interview, you might develop serious anxiety. It is quite normal. But use your body language to act confidently. Try to hide your nervousness. Interviewers may be aware that you are concealing it. However your ability to hide and the way you tackle the conversation will definitely impress the interviewers. Never worry whether you will be selected or not. Your body language can easily reveal that. Do your best and don’t think about the result. This will increase your confidence level. And you will perform better. Chances are you may be selected.
One plus point for getting nervous is that it might even indicate how important it is for you to get the job. If you are not nervous and act like a carefree person, the interviewers may think that you don’t care whether you get selected or not.
Interview has two important purposes. The first purpose is to determine who the best performer is in the interview. Second purpose is to analyze which candidate will perform better with the job. Utilize this knowledge when you face any job interview.
Punctuality Tells Your Concern About Time
Punctuality is an essential quality of a successful person. If you are not punctual and don’t reach the place of interview in time, your chances of being selected are not bright. Punctuality is one of the most important aspects of the job interview. Remember, job interview is an important appointment for you as well as for the employer. Arriving late will surely send a wrong message about your attitude about the importance of time to the interviewers. It will tell about your lack of professionalism too. Start early and make it sure to reach the place well in time. There is no excuse for being late. Moreover, if you are late, your turn might have been over.
Maintain Proper Body Posture
Maintain your body posture. It is important during job interviews. The interviewers constantly observe how you sit. They also observe how you make your body movements. When they tell you to take your seat, see if the chair is too close to the table. If it is too close, pull it back a little so that you can make an easy entry to sit down. But make it sure that you don’t make any screeching sound when you pull the chair.
In the beginning of the interview, sit up straight in your chair. Support your back with the back of the chair. Don’t look saggy before the interviewers. Don’t move sideways in your chair either. Your body language might be perceived as a lack of interest or boredom. Don’t sit on the edge of the chair. It can send a message that you are nervous. It will also show that you are not comfortable with the interview.
When an interviewer asks you something, lean a little forward. This shows that you are attentive and taking interest. You can tilt your head a little bit too. This shows that you are listening closely. Always make eye contact with the interviewer who is asking you the questions.
Some Do’s And Don’ts
There are various types of interview. Traditional types are Board Interview where there are many interviewers, and another is one-to-one interview. Telephonic interview is also used these days. In one-to-one interview, the interviewer may come to the room you are sitting. Or you may be asked to come in. When the interviewer comes to the room to meet you, just stand up and wish him. Do not make the first move for a handshake. Shake hands only when the interviewer offers his hand. But shake hands firmly, don’t squeeze. Maintain eye contact. Take your seat only when he says so. If you are going to his room, don’t ask permission for coming in. You have already been asked to come in. But don’t sit down until he says so.
Put your hands loosely on your lap. You can also put them on the arms of the chair if it has arms. If you place your hands on the armrests, you can make free hand movements to support what you say. Never cross your arms on the chest. This is the body language of defensive move.
You may nod your head occasionally. This shows that you know the subject well and you are speaking the truth. This also shows that you are confident. Use your body language while speaking. Hand movements can also make the conversation lively. The interviewers will think that you are quite comfortable with the interview. Imagine if someone is talking to you without any movement, will it be interesting? I don’t think so. You will soon be yawning. Same thing applies here. Don’t make your interviewers yawn while you are talking. Utilize the body language techniques.
However, don’t move your hands too much. Carefully observe your interviewers’ hand movements. If they use their hands too often to make their points clear, you can also do the same thing. If they make hand movements only occasionally, you have to do the same thing.
During the interview, you may make some unnecessary movements. You may be tapping your fingers on the table. You may be shuffling your feet too frequently. You may be biting your nails. You may be touching parts of your body too often. These show your nervousness. And these are the things you have to avoid.
The Board Interview
One-to-one interview is easy to face for many. But when it comes to face a Board Interview, it is really embarrassing. Candidates are confused whom to look at when they are answering. Some suggests looking at the Chairman of the Board even when other members ask you the questions. But is it advisable? A better suggestion is to look equally at all the members. When you ask a person something, that person gives the answer looking at somebody else. How will you feel? Suppose you are giving a lecture before an audience. Will you speak looking at one person sitting just in front of you? Or will you look from left to right and from front to back so that all the audience is given equal importance? Same thing applies here. Look uniformly at all the interviewers.
When one of the members asks you something or comments or supplements your answer, maintain eye contact with him until he finishes. This will indicate that you are listening attentively. While speaking, he may also look at the other interviewers. When other members give him a nod, he will look at you back. This time, you too give him a nod. This will encourage him to continue speaking. Remember, attentively listening to a person wins his heart.
Your Body Language Shows Your Personality
Your body language will show whether you are confident or not. It will indicate whether you are shy or friendly. The interviewers will come to know whether you are a loner or a team player by observing your body language. Any company or organization may prefer a candidate who is confident, friendly and a team player. By observing your body language, they can analyze whether you will be able to handle the job well with devotion. They will also come to know whether you will be able to get along with other employees. The interviewers will pay attention to how you say, but not so much on what you say. The interviewers will try to find your responses that match their qualifications.
Know Your Interviewers’ Body Language
Since you can now speak fluent body language, you should also be able to understand what body language your interviewers speak in relation to your body language.
Observe the body language of your interviewers from the beginning. The body gestures of your interviewers can give you an indication of how well you are coming along with them so far in the interview. If their body language is not comfortable to you, change your body language quickly. In the beginning, they may not be aware that you are also observing their body language. So you have the advantage of changing your body language and speaking their body language. If you speak the same language, your chances of getting the job are very high.
Wish you all the best.
Yours forever,
Rajendra Sagolsem
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