Why in-laws are at daggers drawn most of the time? The antagonism and hostility between mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws, hesitancy in clearing up the untidiness, and waiting for others who will finally clean the utensils are some of the In-Laws Syndromes. Jealousy and rights play a major role in creating conflict situations between mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws. Mother-in-laws are jealous of their daughter-in-laws. Daughter-in-laws are aware of their rights and want to remind others in the family, especially their mother-in-laws verbally, in body language or in action.
There may be many other reasons, but jealousy, insecurity, rights, and personality clash seem to be the root cause for the lack of unity between them thereby bringing disharmony in the family.
If you are a daughter-in-law:
Suppose you are a daughter-in-law and you want to avoid any strained relationship with your mother-in-law. Then you have to understand three most important points:
(a) Your mother-in-law is jealous of you. She managed to bear all the pain when your husband was in her womb for almost nine months. She also managed the labor pain when your mother-in-law gave birth to your husband. Then she brought her son up, sent him to school and sent him for higher studies. She did whatever she could for her son, including cooking his food, washing his cloths, loving and caring. She didn’t get a full night’s sleep when your husband was a baby. He would cry in the middle of the night. She would breast-feed him to quiet his cry.
She knew time had come for his marriage. She would lead the entire family in arranging a grand marriage for her son. One fine day you got married to her son. Your mother-in-law was quite happy. But after a few years, may be months, she started feeling that her son had been snatched away from her. She also started feeling that her son’s love for her had been totally taken by you.
(b) Your mother-in-law is insecure. She started feeling that you were going to take over her place in the family. She started feeling you were intruding into her domain which she used to protect for the last so many years. Then she started feeling that you were her rival in the family. She became shaky and almost paranoid.
(c) Suppose your personality and your mother-in-law’s personality don’t strike the same cord. Many times, your activities may crash because of this clash. You and your mother-in-law may not be able to appreciate each other’s works. This may result in fault-finding which is most unwanted in human relationship.
Some mother-in-laws are reasonable and considerate. You can make good conversations with them. And you can team up well with such mother-in-law to push your family forward. Both of you can do so many fruitful things together. In fact, it is easier for you to deal with such type than to deal with an unreasonable, obstinate, and egoistic mother-in-law. Latter kind of mother-in-laws is strong headed. They are steadfast in their thinking influenced by old tradition and old belief system.
If your mother-in-law falls in latter category how will you deal with her? I will suggest that you have to just listen to whatever she has to say about family norms and family affairs. Don’t interrupt when she is saying something. If you interrupt, she may think or say you don’t have manners. She may even say you have not been properly disciplined in your parental home. But remember, she can only think and remember the old teaching she received from her parents who in turn learned from their parents or grandparents. She doesn’t know what modernity is. She doesn’t know what generation gap is. She is not aware of the changing time and changing values. She doesn’t want to know even. Even if she knows, these things are not worth a dime for her. Most of the time, she will try to advise you. And her advice is based on the century old values. But she takes it for granted that she is more experienced and knows far better than you do.
Such mother-in-laws are dangerous. Don’t do any kind of back biting. Don’t talk ill of her. Once she comes to know you are doing so, your relation will become quite bitter and quite sore. Don’t compare your mother-in-law with anybody, especially to her face or in presence of others.
If there is a personality clash between you and your mother-in-law, what will you do? It may be very difficult to live or work with people whose personalities don’t strike your cord. It is good to be soft, kind, gentle, and loving even if it is hard to do so. But it might not be a good idea to tolerate them all the time. If they repeatedly show disrespect, rudeness, abusiveness, threatening or violence, it is time to solve the problem permanently. End the relationship.
Unfortunately, you can’t do this to your mother-in-law. Think about your husband who is torn between your love and his mother’s love. He is quite stressed because of your personality clash. And you very well know the consequences of living a stressful life. Depression, high blood pressure, and heart attack are only a few of the results of living a stressful life. Then what shall you do? I will suggest that you find a way to release your emotion developed out of the clash. Release your anger in some good, positive, and constructive ways. Channelize or sublimate your negative emotions. Your anger and frustration come only when you don’t get what you expected to get. But you have to understand one important thing that not all expectations are real. You can't get everything you expected to get from your mother-in-law. And remember, if you can’t change others, at least you can change yourself.
Remember to apply the important techniques of human relationship. Never enter into any sort of argument. Never criticize, complain, nag or grumble. Treat her as your mother. And most importantly, don’t nurture a grudge for whatever she said to you out of emotion.
If you are a mother-in-law:
Suppose you are a mother-in-law and you want to deal with your daughter-in-law. Then try to understand two most important points.
(a) Your daughter-in-law is a legitimate member of your family. She joined your family after a legal marriage. She has all the rights as any member of your family has. You should understand that she has left her real home, her own mother, her own father, brothers and sisters. She has come to her new home which is also your home. You have the responsibility to teach her the family norms and family tradition for fruitful co-existence. You don’t have the right to exhume her ancestors for not knowing your family norms. Be careful. Never utter a word that will humiliate her ancestors. There is nothing more serious than this. She will definitely react in the same way as you will do when someone digs out your forefathers. There may even be a verbal fight between you and your daughter-in-law. And you won’t be happy that time. Will you?
(b) Your daughter-in-law knows her legitimate rights. She is aware that her marriage was a legal marriage. She knows she will one day handle all the affairs of the family. She knows she will one day become a mother-in-law. Some communities have the tradition of handing over the treasury keys to the first daughter-in-law. When handing over the keys, mother-in-laws use to say something like this, “From today onwards you are the custodian of all the family affairs. You are the goddess of wealth for this family. Take care of these keys.”
Some daughter-in-laws are non-assertive. They remain quiet and don’t utter a single word even when rebuked. In the beginning, you don’t have any problem for such daughter-in-laws. Suppose your daughter-in-law has a strong personality and submissiveness is not in her dictionary. She can’t tolerate rebuking and scolding. How will you deal with her? It’s a difficult question. Isn’t it? But answers are easy. As you are the mother-in-law, older and more experienced in home management, you will definitely desire to advise your daughter-in-law about the family norms and tradition. But her acceptance of your advice depends 100% on your way of dealing with her. If you use rude and crude methods, she won’t accept. If your way of saying is refined, not influenced by your jealousy and insecurity, and your methods are based on liberty and equality besides reasoning, she will readily accept.
Socrates once said, “A man can talk his way to the top of the world.” But with the same ability, the same man can talk his way to the bottom of the world too. Negative criticism is the only technique to be used. So, never criticize your daughter-in-law negatively. Neither think of suppressing, torturing nor bullying your daughter-in-law. Someone correctly said, “Those who bully can be easily bullied.” The bullies can’t hold their head high if other persons are stronger bullies. In Tom and Jerry, Tom always tries to bully Jerry. But when Puggsy, the dog shows up, Tom all of a sudden becomes timid.
Be mindful of your family and their daily stresses as well. If your conflict and its effects loom around in the family, all the members will be affected. They want peace and tranquility just as you do. When someone in the family, may be your daughter-in-law, does something good to contribute to the peace and harmony of your family, appreciate and praise them. Let them know you appreciate what they did. This will help foster more peace in the future. If you can’t bring adjustment with your daughter-in-law yet, find another way for bringing adjustment. Max DePree rightly said, “When you can't change the direction of the wind, adjust your sails.” It is your responsibility as a mother-in-law to create an environment in which everyone is well adjusted. Remember, J.R. Bookhoff said, “It is the atmosphere created primarily by the mother that makes a home worthwhile.”
Maintaining peace and tranquility in your home is not only important; it is a must for maintaining every member’s physical, mental and emotional health. Apply the suggestions given above and see if you can nurture a peaceful environment so your home becomes a safe haven for all the members of your family.
Yours forever,
Rajendra Sagolsem
Are your thoughts about an ensuing exam bothering you? Do you have any fear for such exam? Okay, this kind of a problem may not be yours. But most of the students have some kind exam fever. And some students are really panicky about exams. And they develop lots of stresses unnecessarily.
Exam stress has become a phenomenon now. With the advancement in the knowledge field, the curricula are becoming bigger and more difficult. And the parents are quite demanding these days. They are pressurizing their children to come up to their expectation. Whatever the cause, exam stress has become a bye-product of the education system today. Like other types of stresses, exam stress can’t be avoided or eliminated altogether.
You can only manage it:
First of all, don’t be afraid of exam. Keep going with your studies regularly and exam will take care of itself. Don’t worry. Simply apply these study techniques and follow the revision tips. And taking that exam may not turn out to be as fearful as you used to presume.
Study techniques:
Study two hours in the morning: Get up at 5:00 am and study up to 7:00 am
Study two hours in the evening: Get ready to study from 9:00 pm to 11:00 pm
Devote one hour for a topic in a subject. Divide this one hour into two parts: 45 minutes of study and 15 minutes of revision. Change your position while revising. Write down while revising. This will improve your hand writing, both beauty and speed. After all, you are going to write with your hand in the exam.
Remember, if you studied Mathematics or Physics in the first hour, devote your second hour for a subject like Biology, English or any language that is quite contrasted. Never study Physics just after Mathematics or Mathematics just after Physics. This will create monotony in your study and you will not be able to grasp to the maximum. And you will be simply wasting your precious time.
Motivation plays a great role in learning. Without motivation, learning just doesn’t take place. You should have someone to motivate you or you should get self motivated. To be self motivated, you should have some goals. Goals can be short term or long term.
Short term goals can be something like these:
(1) By the end of August, I will master the first three chapters in Mathematics, Physics, Chemistry and Biology. (2) I will get 100% in Mathematics in the coming September monthly test. (3) I will get 99% in Physics in the October monthly test, etc.
Long term goals can be something Like these:
I will become a Software Engineer and establish my own software company. Or I will become a medical doctor and run my own clinic.
Setting short term goals and achieving them is easier in a way. You can clearly see most of the short term goals. And you can also achieve them in a short span of time. But to achieve long term goals is a little bit tricky unless you divide them into smaller sub-goals. For example, “I will become a software engineer” is your long term goal. To achieve this goal, you will require 6-7 years. This is a long way to go. And your goal is too far to see it clearly. To achieve any long term goal therefore, you have to divide it into sub-goals.
Set up a good time table:
A realistic time table should be set up and followed strictly. To follow your own time table, you require self discipline. Learn to develop self discipline. And strictly follow the time table that you have made for your own success.
The following points can be suggested for making your time:
(1) Waking up time. (2) Home study time (Morning). (3) Breakfast & getting ready time. (4) School/college time. (5) Relaxing & Snacks time. (6) Tuition time (if any). (7) Home study time (Evening). (8) Sleeping time.
Different time tables should be made for school/college days and holidays. You should pay special attention to your eating, sleeping and exercising habits. You should be able to stay healthy because your persistent studies require good health.
How to revise effectively:
After 45 minutes of intense study, take 15 minutes off. During 15 minutes off, sharpen your brain by revising what you have read in the previous 45 minutes. If you do this, you will retain 75% of what you have studied and chances of forgetting are only 25%. If you don’t revise, you will forget 75% and retain only 25%. Your second revision for the same topic should be after 48 hours, third revision after 15 days. And the final revision should be done just before the test or exam.
One month before the exam:
By now, you have finished the major revision in all the subjects. Look for something you might have missed. Revise them in the very important category.
One week before the exam:
(1) Take it easy. Don’t tense yourself thinking about the exam. (2) Refresh yourself with light, stretching exercises. (3) Never forget to do the breathing exercise regularly. (4) Revise only the essential points.
The night before:
(1) Stay calm. (2) Study whatever you can. (3) But don’t overexert yourself. (4) Have a nice dinner and sleep for 6-7 hours.
The crucial day:
Ensure that you have everything required for the exam. Enter the exam hall 15 minutes before the start. Don’t forget to visit the toilet before entering the exam hall. Take your seat, close your eyes and do the breathing exercise. This will help you soothe your nerves and stay alert.
When the question paper comes to your hands, scan it from the beginning to the end. Carefully read the instructions given at the top: compulsory questions, different sections, the number of questions to be answered, word limits if any, type of answers and marks allotted to each question.
Now proceed:
(1) Quickly make a mental chart of the time to be spent on each question, section, parts, etc., of the exam. (2) Write rapidly but do not sacrifice accuracy.
(3) Never waste time on a difficult question, skip it and come back later to answer it. (4) First take up a question that you can answer best. (5) Ensure that the correct question number is written for every answer. (6) Carry out a revision and change if you have to and if there is time for the change.
(7) Guess an answer only when there is no negative marking for a wrong answer. Otherwise leave them if you don’t know for sure.
Exam is not a fearful event. Every day is an exam for all of us in our life. Develop self confidence. Believe in yourself. Don’t worry about anything else. Just write whatever you know.
Yours forever,
Rajendra Sagolsem
Emotions are psychophysical reactions to our environment. They are normally tied to a person’s feelings. Some of the important emotions are anger, fear, joy, love, hate, elation, and disgust. Again, anger, fear, hate, disgust, etc. are negative emotions. And joy, love, elation, etc. are called positive emotions. However, there are times when we need to control our emotions, whether positive or negative.
Those people who can’t control their emotions are frequently engaged in some kind of a fight, substance abuse, or unprotected sex. These can put their life in danger. This kind of a situation may be the result of their genetic factors, parental upbringing or social development.
You can get angry. There is nothing wrong in that. But you should watch out the actions taken out of your anger. What will happen to you if one of your actions turns out to be a crime? You may be prosecuted in a law court and sent to a jail. I think you won’t like that situation!
However never try to suppress your anger. That will alter the whole thing related to your personality. Instead, try to sublimate your anger. If you are angry with someone, don’t be vindictive. In fact, you are not angry with the person. You are angry with the situation. You can forgive and forget. And your negative emotion called anger can be converted into the positive emotion called love. Why don’t you try this?
Those people who can’t control their emotions exhibit some of the following symptoms:
They show uncontrolled and intense anger.
They are indulged in impulsive substance use, excessive sex, fast driving, etc.
They show uncertainty about relationships, values, self-image, and goals.
They tend to lack their self-esteem.
They develop suicidal tendencies.
They are engulfed in chronic boredom.
They develop consistent fear of rejection.
They are always in the extreme mood swings.
They show recurrent intense depression and anxiety.
The people who can’t control their emotions need extensive counseling. They require some specialists who can help them out. If they find some good counselors, they can help regain their control over their emotions. They can start gaining their self-confidence and realize their self-worth once again.
Emotions are required in our life. They are endowed on us genetically. However, we need to identify our emotions and decide if they are appropriate in a given situation. This will prevent serious disasters.
For some people, an emotion can be strong enough to take over what their brain dictates. It overrides logical reasoning that often results in negative emotional response and loss of inner peace.
To avoid unnecessary conflicts, just talk to yourself. Ask yourself about the possible consequences. This will help you calm down for a while and analyze the given situation before reacting. This process will give you a balancing strike in your logical thinking and emotional reactions. As a result, we will learn how to separate feelings from reality and can effectively express thoughts that are not hurtful to anyone.
The person who knows how to control emotions effectively is described as the following:
The person who has high emotional intelligence.
The person who knows how to effectively handle conflicts.
The person who has logical reasoning.
The person who has inner peace.
The person who has secured confidence about themselves.
If you want to control your emotions and if you don’t know how, here are a few tips you may consider.
Control Your Thoughts
Control your emotions by controlling your thoughts. Your thoughts should never
be allowed to control you. You should control your thoughts. Negative thoughts reduce energy needed to take actions. Pessimists are generally depressed. They are insecure in stressful situations. On the other hand, positive thoughts will allow you to focus on the positive side to confront the situations in a rational way. These will not allow your negative emotions to impair your judgment.
Slow Down Your Negative Emotions
Slow down your negative emotions, especially your anger. Your anger may compel you to say something hurtful to someone or do something destructive. Whatever you said out of anger can’t be taken back. Whatever you have done
out of your anger can’t be undone later on. Therefore, hold back your anger by learning how to control yourself. Just think about the possible repercussions of your actions due to anger. This will allow you to think twice before saying or
doing anything.
If You Are Angry With Someone Just Get Up And Go To Toilet
If you are angry with someone in a discussion or any situation, just get up and go to the toilet and stay there half an hour. Your anger will evaporate. After that come back to where you were before and participate in the discussion.
Physical And Mental Health Being Is Important Everywhere
Maintain a balance diet and engage in daily exercises. These can definitely affect your ability to control your emotions.
Emotions Are Important
Emotions are important and very powerful. They affect the way people think and act. They can encourage people to do good things or bad things. If you are doing good things, there is no problem. If your negative emotions compel you to do something bad, you know the repercussions.
Yours forever,
Rajendra Sagolsem
Stress is a form of tension or strain in the body or in the mind. It increases its intensity when a proper outlet is not given. It is however an integral part of our physical and mental system. We have inherited it through evolution. It is not something external. It is rather a vital force for normal functioning of our body. You can’t escape from it. It helped us in our survival all through those millions of years. It still does. So we can’t avoid stress. We can only manage it. If you don’t manage your stress, it can be your silent killer.
Stress can be physical, mental or emotional. Some amount of stress is always good for all of us. It not only helps us survive, it helps us move forward in life. In the olden days when life was very simple, stress didn’t give us much of a problem. But today stress has become a nuisance. In fact, stress is the curse of living in modern societies. We are all suffering from stress in some form or other. Especially in the cities and towns, people suffer from stress in a higher degree. And the stress we develop takes a heavy toll on our heart.
When you feel stressed, the best thing to do is just relax. To relax what will you do? You might want to sit in front of a TV. Ok, watching TV may be a form of relaxation for some, but it is not for everybody. When you watch TV you are always bombarded with commercials, ads, sounds and bright images. When you watch a movie, you are interrupted very often. This will definitely form stress in your mind. So how will you achieve proper relaxation by watching TV? Remember there are so many other ways you can relax.
If there are hundreds of events that can form stress in your mind, some of them may be: the problem of not meeting your deadlines, fear of your failure and resulting frustration, an impending danger, your financial problems, a quarrel with one of your colleagues or your spouse, traveling to a distant place, worry about your career or business, your personal health, your family health, loss of prestige or status, boredom, suppressed anger, loneliness, loss of hope, etc.
Heart problem is linked to anger. And unexpressed anger and constant anxiety are linked to mental stress. Too much stress can result in high blood pressure and heart attack. So if you are stressed, relaxation is the only answer to avoid disasters.
If you want to resort to relaxation to manage your stress, there are a few tips that will definitely help you. They are here:
1. Breathing exercise is the easiest way to relax. When you are stressed, your brain emits your mental waves at the speed above 40 – 30 cycles per second. By doing breathing exercise, you can bring this speed down to 14 – 7 cps to regain your Alpha State of Mind. In this state of mind, you are completely relaxed and refreshed. You can think properly. You can start a new task.
2. Physical stress can help you avoid your mental stress. So do some exercises. If you feel irritated a simple half an hour of exercise will often settle things down. You can recover from physical stress by taking a proper rest. But taking rest doesn’t reduce your mental and emotional stresses.
3. One great way of relaxation is to consult and listen to a professional therapist.
4. You can meditate to relax. People practice meditation to bring down their stress level. You can consult a Yoga teacher to get the best result.
There are several other ways to manage stress. Some of them are the following:
1. Make Stress Your Friend
When we come across anything fearful, we either confront or escape. This is called fight or flight theory. A hormone called adrenaline is just pumped into your blood stream and you are suddenly full of energy. That burst of energy will enhance your performance at the right moment. Have you ever seen anybody totally relaxed before a competition? Even an Olympian who has won gold medals several times, get tense before a big competition.
2. Avoid People Who are Stressed
Stress is contagious. Stressed people sneeze stress germs indiscriminately. If you are near them, you will be infected. Protect yourself by recognizing stressed people. And limit your contact with them.
3. Learn From The Best
Have you seen people who always smile? They pull on their life so easily and comfortably. These are the people who can manage their stress. Learn from them how to manage your stress. Or consult a counselor who can guide you in managing your stress.
4. Know Your Trigger Points
Interviews, speaking before an audience, tight deadlines, etc. trigger everyone’s stress. Find out your trigger points.
Knowing what makes you stress is a powerful step in managing your stress. You can always take proper action to lessen your stress.
So having stress can be a total drag. But that should not hinder you to find the inner peace of mind. Learn how to manage your stress.
Yours forever,
Rajendra Sagolsem
Why should you develop your personality? A pleasant personality is all what we want. With a pleasant personality, we can get along with people well. All the programs relating to personality development aim at building a better person, a better human being.
1. What is personality?
Personality is the overall behavior of an individual. It is the totality of an individual’s characteristics. When we say you have a good personality, we simply mean that you have a good mental ability, good physical build, good emotional control, good moral and spiritual status and good communication skill. When you say you have a poor personality, you mean you can’t communicate well with people. You are some sort of a shy person. You can’t influence and convince people.
In fact, the term personality is derived from the word, ‘Persona,’ meaning ‘Mask.’ We all put one kind of a persona on ourselves. If you have to put on a mask, please select a cheerful and charming mask.
2. Important Types of Personality
(a) Submissive vs. Aggressive
One group of people can be submissive. They can’t even assert themselves. Another group are aggressive. They always try to impose their ideas on other people.
(b) Introvert vs. Extrovert
A group of people can be introvert and remain aloof and silent. They don’t want to mix up with people. Another group can be extrovert. They love to wander around with people. They can’t remain silent even for a while. They are talkative.
(c) Negative vs. Positive
One group of people can have a negative personality. They always negate and oppose others. Another group can have positive personality. They are reasonable, considerate and reliable.
3. Development of Personality
(a) Untrained vs. trained Personality
If we leave ourselves to what we are, some of us may have good personality and others will develop bad personality. If we are trained, we all will acquire socially acceptable personality traits.
(b) 0-4 years: formative years of development
The period between 0 and 4 years is known as the formative years of one’s life. In fact, during this period, all kinds of development take place to the maximum. We can fill the remaining gap as we grow up.
4. Parents’ Role in Personality Development
Mother is the first teacher of a child. Other teachers including father come later on. The small children learn and develop their personality by imitating the behavior of the parents. The way they behave has a tremendous effect on the personality development of their children.
5. What Influence Personality Development
(a) Individual Self Development
Some people develop their personality on their own. Personality is not genetic. An introvert father can have an extrovert child. A mother with positive personality can give birth to child with negative personality. Personality is developed along with our physical, mental and emotional growth.
(b) Familial Influence
Some families are not liberal to their children. The parents and elders frame strict rules for the growing children to obey. The children can’t do anything freely. The parents dictate how the children should do and behave. The personality developed in such way is mostly negative one.
(c) Social Influence
Social environment plays a very great role in the personality development of the children. Social influence includes peer group influence, neighborhood influence, school influence, religious influence, etc.
6. Measuring your personality
There are some tests that can measure your personality. These tests measure your personality based on your responses to certain questions. They ask you to complete a sentence. They ask you to describe a situation. These tests are designed to analyze your reactions and responses. Your thinking and feeling determine your reactions and responses. Your personality is measured by simply analyzing your thoughts and feeling. If so, can you deny the fact that your personality is the manifestation of your thinking and feeling?
7. How to improve your personality
If your personality is what you think and feel, you can change your personality by changing your thinking and feeling. That is as simple as that. You can think any way you want to think. You can feel any way you want to feel. If you think that you are a rat, you will definitely feel and behave like a rat. If you think you are a lion, you will act like a lion. Think what you want to become and you will become what you want to become. This is the basic rule for personality development.
Your personality is what you are. What you are depends on what you think and feel. And what you think and feel depends on what you see, hear and read. Someone nicely said, “Be careful of your thought, for your thought becomes your action. Be careful of your action, for your action becomes your habit. Be careful of your habit, for your habit becomes your behavior. Be careful of your behavior, for your behavior becomes your character. Be careful of your character, for your character determines your destiny.”
There is a nice story I want to share with you. Once a cat looked into the mirror and saw himself as a lion. Do you know how the cat acted? He acted like a lion. A real lion came and looked into the same mirror and saw himself as a rat. Do you know how the real lion acted? You can guess how he acted. He acted like a rat and the cat chased him around.
It is very important to give a thought to your thinking and feeling. Your thinking and feeling is the root cause of your overall behavior. What you are today is the result of whatever you have thought and felt until now. If you are satisfied with your existing personality, go on thinking and feeling the same way you have been doing for the last so many years. If you want to improve or change your personality, then change your thinking and feeling. If you want to change your thinking and feeling, look at everything positively. Nurture your positive emotions. Read life history of great people. Do every day some constructive works. That is the easiest way to improve your personality.
Exercise for improving your personality
To change your personality into an attractive positive personality, start thinking the following:
1) I am friendly. 2) I am amazing. 3) I am amiable. 4) I am assertive. 5) I am attractive. 6) I am beautiful. 7) I am great. 8) I am blissful. 9) I am brilliant. 10) I am broadminded. 11) I am assertive 12) I am calm. 13) I am careful. 14) I am caring. 15) I am charming. 16) I am cheerful. 17) I am cool. 18) I am confident. 19) I am considerate. 20) I am elegant. 21) I am expressive. 22) I am extraordinary. 23) I am fair. 24) I am forward. 25) I am gallant. 26) I am gregarious. 27) I am happy. 28) I am hopeful. 29) I am hospitable, 30) I am important. 31) I am impressive. 32) I am incomparable. 33) I am jolly. 34) I am kind. 35) I am lovely. 36) I am moderate. 37) I am modest. 38) I am noble. 39) I am optimistic. 40) I am outstanding. 41) I am overwhelming. 42) I am peaceful. 43) I am polite. 44) I am prominent. 45) I am realistic. 46) I am reliable. 47) I am noble. 48) I am smiling. 49) I am spirited. 50) I am victorious.
You can think more about whatever you want to be. But you should think with emotion (feeling). Far better, you should do the loud thinking. Cite the statements audibly to yourself. This will function as your affirmation. Your affirmation of your desire to improve your personality should go deep down into your subconscious mind (inner mind). The more you repeat them, deeper they will submerge. You know, your subconscious mind will prompt you to do whatever you seriously want to do.
To get the positive results, however, believe in yourself. Believe in what you do.
Yours forever,
Rajendra Sagolsem
Law of Attraction is a theory that suggests that you will come across whatever you think persistently in your life. If you think you will be rich one day, you will be rich one day. If you think you will quarrel with your neighbor, you will do it one day for sure. Our thought attracts or repels our actions. Positive thought attracts positive action. And negative thought attracts negative action. Many theories have been propounded since the beginning of human history. Law of attraction is one of them. This theory tells us that we can achieve anything we want simply by changing our thinking patterns. Today the law of attraction is one of the most interesting theories.
The main problem with the theory of law of attraction is the question of how thoughts alone can impact the way we do. But according to the law of attraction, an individual’s actions are controlled by their thoughts. This is a sort of subjective reality.
In subjective reality, the consciousness that exists is only your own. Since nobody is aware of how you think, you are the only person who can control your way of thinking.
Law of attraction has some important sub-laws. Here they are:
1) Law of Manifestation
This law proposes that overall consciousness is something that we ultimately choose. You can choose to be conscious so that you can have complete awareness. Though we may not completely recognize it, we constantly ask ourselves the questions that pertain to our consciousness.
2) Law of Magnetism
This law tells us about equal return for our thinking. You can attract energy of the same kind only. If you think positively, you will gain positive results. If you think negatively, you will get negative results. The energies being constantly recycled by all living creatures fill the whole Universe. So you can choose the type of energy you want to get.
3) Law of Pure Desire
This law says your desire will have a great impact on your return. If your actions and thoughts are driven by your pure desire, you can achieve what you want to achieve. In order for your desire to be pure, you must think without any fear, any doubt, or any notion of desperation. Your motives must be clear, honest and worthy.
4) Law of Paradoxical Intent
This law tells us that situations evolve as a result of our thought. For instance, if you act in desperation, a paradox will be created. And this will result in a negative return on your intended energy. Since you are desperate in your thoughts, a certain vibration will be sent out in your environment. This vibration will have a negative impact on the world around you.
5) Law of Harmony
This law tells us about a person’s ability to gain the good things in their life. If you want to live in harmony with people and the Nature, avoid sending out negative vibrations. Sending out positive vibration is possible only if you make a conscious decision to align yourself with people around you and the flow of the Nature. This is one of the Universal laws that require the kind of absolute attention to positive thinking.
6) Law of Right Action
This law tells us that the people who do the right things in life are well rewarded. This law indicates that in order to gain experiences about value, honor and dignity, we must do our part to promote those qualities in our own surrounding. On the contrary, if we do anything to break down those important qualities, we will see those things deteriorate and erode in our own life. We should therefore constantly think about our choices. And we should keep in our mind the impact our choices might have on ourselves as well as on others.
7) Law of Expanding Influence
This law says that people have dominant power of their own personal energy. Energy constantly expands in this world. You can have a large personal positive energy. If you work hard to send out positive vibration, your positive energy can be felt throughout the world. You can make a conscious decision to live a quality life that promotes happiness for those around you. Then you will see your positive power of influence eventually expand to impact all of those people and things around you.
To be successful, all the seven sub-laws should be given equal importance. One sub-law would be completely ineffective without the other sub-laws.
You should apply the law of attraction to all aspects of your life if you want success with it. We are creatures of habit. Once you start experiencing success, you will be led to more successes. In order to be successful, you need to believe that your dream will come true. Affirmation is a part of powerful positive thinking. Affirm your commitment.
Final Tips
It is not difficult to follow the law of attraction. Once you actually start doing whatever we have discussed, things will come to their proper shape and positive results will follow. No one can deny the fact that positive thinking has a positive impact on a person’s life. If you want to truly find success, you can’t simply look at law of attraction and its sub-laws. You have to apply them to all aspects of your life. Though every action originates from our mind, consistent and persistent hard work alone can bring you success. Don’t forget to quickly take advantage of every opportunity that comes to you. Don’t wait. Remember what Abraham Lincoln said, “Things may come to those who wait. But only the things left over by those who hustle.”
If you are a happy, positive and enthusiastic person, people will be happy to be around you.
Yours forever,
Rajendra Sagolsem
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